Monday, October 4, 2010

Loneliness

Hello readers,

I've been feeling really lonely for the past two months or so. I have people all around me, so it isn't a physical loneliness. I think that's it a spiritual loneliness that also affects me emotionally. I have been putting people and things before God. Times that I need to spend with God in some prayer and bible reading and singing, I spend it when other people or doing something else. And as a result I feel that the deeper relationship that my God and I have developed over the summer is becoming a little bit shallow.

The connection between me and God is what keeps me going. It's what puts a smile on my face everyday and not let things get me down. And I realize that the times when I get hurt and sad the easiest are the times when my heart is missing God's presence; times when I'm not spending enough alone time with him. And to fill the void, I may turn to someone else and generate temporary happiness from them, which never ends well.

I need to set a day and a back-up day(in case of emergency or something on the planned day), to have at least 2 hours of alone time with God. Although I read my bible and pray everyday, I think I need to have one day, just me and God, when I can sit for 2 hours and get refreshed for the week. I know that as long as I keep going to the power source, which is my God, to get my happiness...I wont need to rely on anyone or anything else for my permanant happiness! :)

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